Sneaky farts

Illiciter

Premium Supporter
Apr 28, 2009
1,864
I still think its pretty fuckin funny when I let a fart rip in the stairwell on my way up and right after I leave I hear someone start up the steps


its like I know what they're going through



:hilarious:


im sure in some countries I could get arrested for that but **** it I'd do it anyways...
 

Illiciter

Premium Supporter
Apr 28, 2009
1,864
Just don't have a "Sneaky Fart" when you're "doing the deed." That's SO wrong, on so many different levels. :emb:



You know what sucks really bad is when we're doing the deed and we're reaching the moment of ultimate joy and it becomes an uncontrollable body function...


I also have this problem when we're goin doggy style and I get a little too excited and my ass starts swinging really fast and it causes me to toot little trumpet noises.


So wrong I know, but I can't help it you know


:hilarious:
 

49ergirl

BANNED
Jan 28, 2009
1,598
You know what sucks really bad is when we're doing the deed and we're reaching the moment of ultimate joy and it becomes an uncontrollable body function...


I also have this problem when we're goin doggy style and I get a little too excited and my ass starts swinging really fast and it causes me to toot little trumpet noises.


So wrong I know, but I can't help it you know


:hilarious:
:hilarious::hilarious::hilarious::hilarious: :ohno::ohno::ass: That's all I have to say about that.
 
Jan 28, 2009
5,035
Manteca, CA
would it help if I slapped her on the ass and screamed, "That's for my boy Halon!"

??

 
Jan 29, 2009
7,187
I usually try to do the silenced ones in school, but at times, it ends in disaster. But if I hold them in, I'll only spontainiously combust. Either way, I lose.

The worst are trying to sneak one and its wetter than u thought it would be... or the ones that are a little fart, but really aren't.. oops change pants time.. lol.
 
The worst are trying to sneak one and its wetter than u thought it would be... or the ones that are a little fart, but really aren't.. oops change pants time.. lol.
Hah! That happened to me one time when I was like 7 or 8 and I woke up at 6 in the morning to watch early morning TV, but all that was on, were the infomercals for some fitness thing. Too bad no one was awake to help me find some fresh ones.
 

Illiciter

Premium Supporter
Apr 28, 2009
1,864
Totally ripped ass in the banker's office today when I visited the bank.

They had me sitting in there for like 20 minutes while they were "researching" some bullshit i need to get to my lender and I had the uncomfortable intestine gurgle that lets you know the turtle is on it's way to the beach.

Leaned to the side and BLLAAAAAAAAAAPPPP with a couple squeaks... almost immediately after I ripped it the dude comes back to the office..


the best part was that I knew he could smell it because the look in his eyes were vomit and hatred but he smiled and talked to me anyways.
 

mobius387

beer snob
Premium Supporter
Feb 16, 2009
4,404
Milwaukee, WI
Totally ripped ass in the banker's office today when I visited the bank.

They had me sitting in there for like 20 minutes while they were "researching" some bullshit i need to get to my lender and I had the uncomfortable intestine gurgle that lets you know the turtle is on it's way to the beach.

Leaned to the side and BLLAAAAAAAAAAPPPP with a couple squeaks... almost immediately after I ripped it the dude comes back to the office..


the best part was that I knew he could smell it because the look in his eyes were vomit and hatred but he smiled and talked to me anyways.

:hilarious:

when i first started dating my wife i use to hold them in all night long till i felt like my stomach would burst. then when id leave on my drive home i would just let it rip the entire way and it felt soooooo gooooooood :p

of course now we fart all the time around each other. i like to wake her up with a nice loud one in the morning, let her know she should get breakfast going! HAHA i wish :(
 
May 14, 2009
1,047
Richmond, VA
:hilarious:

when i first started dating my wife i use to hold them in all night long till i felt like my stomach would burst. then when id leave on my drive home i would just let it rip the entire way and it felt soooooo gooooooood :p

of course now we fart all the time around each other. i like to wake her up with a nice loud one in the morning, let her know she should get breakfast going! HAHA i wish :(

I didn't fart around my GF for the first 6 months or so. I did the same thing every time I left her place. But the first time I did fart in front of her, it was really something!

She was tickling me incessantly so when I was finally done with that, I wrestled her down and pinned her, one of my legs on either side of her torso with her arms pinned above her head on the floor. She said she was done, so I let go of her arms. She immediately went for the ribs and of course I tightened every stomach muscle I had. That's when it happened. I ripped a HUGE fart right on her stomach. Nothing wet or nasty, just huge.

That opened the gate so of course a fart is shared as freely a smooch now, it was just a hilarious way to get that first one out:hilarious: