The VelociPastor - In theaters May 3, 2019

[IRON MAN]

0.00 star(s) Rating: 0.00/5 0 Votes

Title: The VelociPastor (2018)

Tagline: A man of the claw

Genre: Horror, Action

Director: Brendan Steere

Cast: Gregory James Cohan, Alyssa Kempinski, Aurelio Voltaire, Daniel Steere, Jesse Turits, Yang Jiechang, Fernando Pacheco de Castro

Release: 2018-09-28

Runtime: 75

Plot: After losing his parents, a priest travels to China, where he inherits a mysterious ability that allows him to turn into a dinosaur. At first horrified by this new power, a hooker convinces him to use it to fight crime. And ninjas.

 

[IRON MAN]

@tridon This one's for you

 

[tridon]

@tridon This one's for you

Oh, wow... this looks bad. Really bad.



No amount of grindhouse editing could save this trailer.

 

[IRON MAN]

@tridon But, but, it's horror

 

[tridon]

@tridon But, but, it's horror

Oh, it's horrific alright!

 

[IRON MAN]

Oh, it's horrific alright!

 

[Robles]

Move over Endgame, the film of the year is upon us.

Haha I’ve seen some crap in my time and this will be darting somewhere near to the top of that list.

 

[AlienKing]

Here I am waiting for the next Turbo Kid or The Guest, but what do I get? THE VELOCIPASTOR! I need to wash my eyes with holy water after seeing that trailer

 

[IRON MAN]

Here I am waiting for the next Turbo Kid or The Guest, but what do I get? THE VELOCIPASTOR! I need to wash my eyes with holy water after seeing that trailer

Don't forget to thank @tridon for posting it.

 

[tridon]

Here I am waiting for the next Turbo Kid or The Guest, but what do I get? THE VELOCIPASTOR! I need to wash my eyes with holy water after seeing that trailer

Blame @Apollon for letting me know about it in the first place. I would've never seeked out that trailer otherwise.

 

[IRON MAN]

Blame @Apollon for letting me know about it in the first place. I would've never seeked out that trailer otherwise.

It's an acquired taste.

Blame @Wreck , he put me up to it.

 

[Space Cadet]

Steelbook, pls.

 

[tridon]

Steelbook, pls.

They don't make SteelBooks with the run of only 1.

 

[AlienKing]

Don't forget to thank @tridon for posting it.

@tridon Why you little...

Blame @Apollon for letting me know about it in the first place. I would've never seeked out that trailer otherwise.

@Apollon Why you little...

It's an acquired taste.

Blame @Wreck , he put me up to it.

Jesus! @Wreck seems like it's all on you at the end of the day.