The Crow (reboot) - In theaters August 23, 2024

digitalbabe

Premium Supporter
Apr 12, 2009
42,351
USA
1.50 star(s) Rating: 1.50/5 2 Votes
Title: The Crow

Director: Rupert Sanders

Cast: Bill Skarsgård, FKA Twigs

Plot: A reboot of the 1994 cult classic The Crow.
 
You couldn't drag me to see this abomination and total disrespect to Brandon Lees memory... so The 23% Rotten T & 5.2 imbd just got a full on vintage Ali G finger snap.

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Sacha Baron Cohen Trump GIF by Stan.
 
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What was that? I like these kinds of movies, and I heard this got bad reviews, but I often love films most don't, most recently having exactly that kind of experience with Borderlands, which was freaking awesome! So I was ready to enjoy it.
Yet this was... nothing. First it takes a loooong time to set up the whole couple meeting and falling in love - why?! Weren't the couples in all other iterations already together a long time? Here they just meet, and knowing her literally less than 2 days, he goes all mad berserk for? BS!
Then there's a dramatic but uninteresting murder. Then the main guy goes back and forth between realities, like Neo taking a train ride to that subway station. Everything gets overly explained. Later even some of the grisly murders don't save it, because it's all too CGI.
There are some good songs, but they don't even let you hear them much, instead giving the most time to annoying classical opera and some other female howling noise calling itself a song. And then it's over, but has taken almost 2 hours. On top of it all the main girl literally calling herself a twig, or some dumb crap like that, has a stupid face I haven't seen since Estella Warren's dumb mug in 2001's Driven. The Twig has no emotion and every time it popped up on screen I wanted to laugh.
 
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What was that? I like these kinds of movies, and I heard this got bad reviews, but I often love films most don't, most recently having exactly that kind of experience with Borderlands, which was freaking awesome! So I was ready to enjoy it.
Yet this was... nothing. First it takes a loooong time to set up the whole couple meeting and falling in love - why?! Weren't the couples in all other iterations already together a long time? Here they just meet, and knowing her literally less than 2 days, he goes all mad berserk for? BS!
Then there's a dramatic but uninteresting murder. Then the main guy goes back and forth between realities, like Neo taking a train ride to that subway station. Everything gets overly explained. Later even some of the grisly murders don't save it, because it's all too CGI.
There are some good songs, but they don't even let you hear them much, instead giving the most time to annoying classical opera and some other female howling noise calling itself a song. And then it's over, but has taken almost 2 hours. On top of it all the main girl literally calling herself a twig, or some dumb crap like that, has a stupid face I haven't seen since Estella Warren's dumb mug in 2001's Driven. The Twig has no emotion and every time it popped up on screen I wanted to laugh.
She was one of the main reasons I hated it too. Dreadful casting.....

And as much as I like Skarsgard, he didn't suit the role either.
 
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