The Official Blu-clan Chuck thread lol
http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/
This **** is hilarious! For you Tony! lol
http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/
The Chuck Norris thread
- Thread starter Wreck
- Start date
The answer to the philosophical riddle "Can God create an object so heavy he can't move it?":
Yes he can, and he can move it too, but he just asks Chuck Norris to do it instead.
Yes he can, and he can move it too, but he just asks Chuck Norris to do it instead.
Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.
Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
Chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity, he got it back.
Chuck Norris can text message with tin can telephones.
Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret.
If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's beef.
The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus
isn't real, it's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.
Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest.
Chuck Norris beat Halo 1, 2, and 3 on Legendary with a broken Guitar Hero controller.
If he wanted to, Chuck Norris could rob a bank over the phone.
Chuck Norris once went to mars. Thats why there is no signs of life.
Chuck Norris once bowled a perfect game with a marble.
In the early 70's Chuck Norris and Arnold Schwarzenegger got into a fight. With just one round house kick to the face, Arnold hasn't talked the same ever since
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.
Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's trying to tell you how many seconds you have to live
Chuck Norris scared the Swine Flu out of pigs, that is the reason it now is infecting humans.
Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
Chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity, he got it back.
Chuck Norris can text message with tin can telephones.
Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret.
If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's beef.
The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus
isn't real, it's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.
Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest.
Chuck Norris beat Halo 1, 2, and 3 on Legendary with a broken Guitar Hero controller.
If he wanted to, Chuck Norris could rob a bank over the phone.
Chuck Norris once went to mars. Thats why there is no signs of life.
Chuck Norris once bowled a perfect game with a marble.
In the early 70's Chuck Norris and Arnold Schwarzenegger got into a fight. With just one round house kick to the face, Arnold hasn't talked the same ever since
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.
Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's trying to tell you how many seconds you have to live
Chuck Norris scared the Swine Flu out of pigs, that is the reason it now is infecting humans.
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Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.
Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
Chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity, he got it back.
Chuck Norris can text message with tin can telephones.
Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret.
If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's beef.
The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus
isn't real, it's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.
Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest.
Chuck Norris beat Halo 1, 2, and 3 on Legendary with a broken Guitar Hero controller.
If he wanted to, Chuck Norris could rob a bank over the phone.
Chuck Norris once went to mars. Thats why there is no signs of life.
Chuck Norris once bowled a perfect game with a marble.
In the early 70's Chuck Norris and Arnold Schwarzenegger got into a fight. With just one round house kick to the face, Arnold hasn't talked the same ever since
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.
Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's trying to tell you how many seconds you have to live
Chuck Norris scared the Swine Flu out of pigs, that is the reason it now is infecting humans.
OMG!! Keep 'em coming!!
Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
Chuck Norris once got into a knife fight, the knife lost.
Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
Chuck Norris invented black. In fact he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky.
Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Chuck Norris once pulled out a single hair from his beard and skewered three men through the heart with it.
Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once got into a knife fight, the knife lost.
Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
Chuck Norris invented black. In fact he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky.
Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Chuck Norris once pulled out a single hair from his beard and skewered three men through the heart with it.
Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.
Good batch there....gotta say my favorite is
Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
Talk about going back!!!!!
Good batch there....gotta say my favorite is
Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
Talk about going back!!!!!
I'm old, I'm allowed to pull refrences from back in the day.
Chuck Norris runs Windows 7 on his Etch-a-Sketch.
Chuck Norris invented the C-section when he roundhouse kicked his way into the world
Chuck Norris once had an erection while lying face down and struck oil.
Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
Rosa Parks refused to get out of her seat because she was saving it for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now."
Chuck Norris invented the C-section when he roundhouse kicked his way into the world
Chuck Norris once had an erection while lying face down and struck oil.
Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
Rosa Parks refused to get out of her seat because she was saving it for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now."
I haven't seen this one but I almost fell of my chair last night!!!
Chuck Norris's mother was arrested while pregnant with him for carrying a concealed weapon!
Chuck Norris's mother was arrested while pregnant with him for carrying a concealed weapon!
When Chuck Norris gives you a thumbs up, you go to heaven.
Look at that plastic surgery face!!!
Clit Eastwood doesn't get plastic surgery!!! 
Look at that plastic surgery face!!!
He just simply did his hair in the morning, everything just fell into place
Look at that plastic surgery face!!!
chuck norris doesn't get plastic surgery, he just roundhouse kicks himself in the face.
Look at that plastic surgery face!!!
All of you guys are given a golden opportunity here to tease the "spelling police" here, and you totally miss it?
I won't even point it out, but I think it's REALLY funny. 