The quote about walking a mile in his shoes and then having his shoes is part of Jack Handy's Deep Thoughts, I believe.
Here's a random pool of quotes - I'm leaving off the authors on purpose because some do not deserve recognition!
"Sometimes you have to just look around and ask yourself, 'What the ****?'"
"The saddest part about humanity is the fact that we ridicule it as if we are above it; even worse, we work and die for it."
"On a scale from 1 to Awesome, I am… Super Great!"
And what kind of beer geek would I be without some beer quotes?
"Drinking beer doesn't make you fat, It makes you lean.... Against bars, tables, chairs, and poles."
"A fine beer may be judged with only one sip, but it's best to be thoroughly sure."
"Beer is the answer! What was the question?"
How about some intellectual favorites of mine:
"When you are through changing, you are through."
"Nothing is more satisfying than to know that at some point, everything dies."
"Death, you are a hawkishly deviant symbolism of everything I’ve ever hated."
"The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creature that cannot."
