Am i wrong for not wanting kids?

thewoe

JG's Collectibles
Premium Supporter
Dec 10, 2012
3,688
United Kingdom
Yo,

This is quite a random subject for me to post but i will explain,...

me and my girlfriend have been together since i was 16 (12 years) we met in college and have been together ever since.
Im now 28 coming on 29 (August this year) and we are quite happy with our lives, we have steady jobs and we spend alot of time together watching movies, going out when its nice weather and swimming etc.
We really enjoy each others company, it hasnt changed in the 12 years we have been together.

Ive been thinking about us getting married as we probably should have done so years ago but it seems all people ever ask us is "So when you having a kid?" Our answer is always the same "We dont want them".
We both have nieces and nephews and its great hanging out with them but its great to give them back lol without any of the responsibility.

People always look at us weird when we say we dont have kids etc everyone i know has got at least 1 or they are planning for one and yet they seem mighty jealous of us for having so much time for each other.

We are going on holiday to italy next year as we recently sorted out our passports, its my first time on a plane as it is my girlfriends and we cant wait but it seems people i know that have kids expect us to drop everything to look after their kids and apprently going to italy for a week with my girlfriend on our first holiday together and missing my sisters sons 2nd birthday is a crime.

I just dont seem to get why people get so jealous and pissed off because me and my gf have time for each other and can do what we want, they decided to have a kid(s) so why all the judgement and jealousy?

We have never played into a 10 year plan of "Get married, have kids, Work work work work" that so many seem to accept as the norm, we work hard for our money and the way we see it is if we only live once, why not have fun with each other rather than spending the rest our lives looking after another human?


Sorry, just needed to vent.
 

whysoserious?

a no posting ex ninja
Premium Supporter
Nothing wrong with that mate , I'm 34 and don't have kids , I may or may not have kids in future , but it's totally up to u , don't let any one push u into it , I like u have plenty of nieces and nephews , they always around the place

Had a mate like ur self and soon as he went past his 30 his opinion changed and his gf had a baby 6 months ago
I still think u got plenty of time to make a decision mate
Hop that helps
 
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Scary Hair

Lost The Plot Ninja
Premium Supporter
Your not being the unreasonable one here . I recon your friends need to man up and look after thire own childabeasts rather than palmbing them off onto other people .

We have 2 Girl almost 14 Boy 13 in November . Other than going to the cimema 4 times and our 1st wedding anniversary 14 years ago we have never relied on anyone to have ours for vast periods of time more than 3 hrs .

Grandparents have had them occasionaly while we have done food shooping .

Would not burden my friends with or without kids without a life or death situation .

PLEASE @thewoe Try not to judge all of us with kids with the same brush .
 
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Sep 15, 2012
2,006
The Netherlands
Oh definatley not mate i wouldnt do that, its just most people i know since having kids act like the world owes them something and there is something wrong with me for not having kids, it drives me nuts.
There is nothing wrong with you, it's the people around you. ;-)

People who live their lives as is it supposed to be and judging other who do different ate the worst.

Friends and family. I skip occasionally birthdays and all of my family know it. Why? Simple, I don't like spending my precious time on someone else's birthday talking about the weather and your occupation etc. Boring.

Just do what feels right for you. You're not hurting people around you with your chosen lifestyle, they are just not thinking out of the box and staying in their comfortable thinking of how life is supposed to be.

Don't feel obligated, or hammered and never think there is something wrong for you.

In life, live like you want without hurting others etc. And enjoy everything to the fullest. That's what life is about, not just the normal life. Like going to school, get a decent job, get married, get kids and grow old.

Do what you want, live life to the fullest and enjoy every moment you have. But, don't rule out the option of having kids. Maybe someday you want them, maybe not, but it ain't good for yourself as a human being to be resolute and rule something out.

Maybe your girlfriend does want kids someday, but she's scared to tell you because you don't want kids right now... ;-) it's possible.

And enjoy your holiday in Italy. Where ya going to?

Tuscany? Rome? Milan? Sicily?
 

thewoe

JG's Collectibles
Premium Supporter
Dec 10, 2012
3,688
United Kingdom
There is nothing wrong with you, it's the people around you. ;-)

People who live their lives as is it supposed to be and judging other who do different ate the worst.

Friends and family. I skip occasionally birthdays and all of my family know it. Why? Simple, I don't like spending my precious time on someone else's birthday talking about the weather and your occupation etc. Boring.

Just do what feels right for you. You're not hurting people around you with your chosen lifestyle, they are just not thinking out of the box and staying in their comfortable thinking of how life is supposed to be.

Don't feel obligated, or hammered and never think there is something wrong for you.

In life, live like you want without hurting others etc. And enjoy everything to the fullest. That's what life is about, not just the normal life. Like going to school, get a decent job, get married, get kids and grow old.

Do what you want, live life to the fullest and enjoy every moment you have. But, don't rule out the option of having kids. Maybe someday you want them, maybe not, but it ain't good for yourself as a human being to be resolute and rule something out.

Maybe your girlfriend does want kids someday, but she's scared to tell you because you don't want kids right now... ;-) it's possible.

And enjoy your holiday in Italy. Where ya going to?

Tuscany? Rome? Milan? Sicily?

Me and my lady have discussed many times about having kids and we both always come back to, "Not now, not for a while, maybe never"

I forget the name of the place but its near Pompeii, my girlfriend really wants to visit there :)
 
Apr 27, 2009
3,525
Durham,NC
I'm 27 and my mom and both my grandmas are asking why me and my siblings aren't having children.It get's kinda annoying.None of us want any kids.I can see them thinking something is wrong with us as they had their first children and 14,15 and 16 so all of us being in our 20's with no children is kinda strange to them.

Children are a Financial burden and they burn through money and time like it's nothing.I just don't want to stop living to raise someone.i;m still figuring life out myself how would i tell someone how to live?

Like LoLwut said, it's society telling us we should have children to suffer like they are.I refuse and you should too.not everyone needs kids,man.Your not wrong ,your smart.
 
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nefilim

BANNED
Premium Supporter
there is nothing wrong with you.

as it is - the world is overcrowded. pollution get worse. global warming. all the forestes that are cut down to make room for new cities/town etc. wild life killed because they get in the way of humans. etc etc.

in my book you are smart and thinking person. keep it up.

I have no kids either, and we are happy that way.

:thumbs:
 

denizen

The Shadow Ninja
Premium Supporter
Nov 13, 2012
5,258
South Africa
Think everyone else has nailed it but thought id share my 5c worth. :)

I personally never wanted kids. Or at least I always thought id be a dad one day. When my wife was pregnant with our first, I thought to myself, "Man! How on earth am I going to be a dad? I cant even take care of myself!" But the moment my son was born, my whole life altered perception. In a good way. Now, I cannot imagine life without him.

My point is, if it does happen one day, it will all work out. Trust me.
 

Basil

The Helpful Fox
Premium Supporter
Oct 13, 2013
4,102
UK portsmouth
excuse @thewoe sounds like its you various friends that sound like they are the unhappy ones with there life decisions and next time they try put there kids upon you just laugh and laugh out loud at them, think that get message thru loud at clear.
personally what you do is upto you and tbh is none of there bloomin business. to me sounds like the green eyed monster as someone on the outside looking in

anyway all the best
basil :thumbs:
 
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bigfub

Dreaming Dredd Ninja
Premium Supporter
Sep 13, 2012
2,620
Warwick, UK
@thewoe
Went to Sorrento last year, lovely :) Pompeii, Herculaneum and even got up Vesuvius too ;)
As for kids, not everyone does want them; my sister & brother in law didn't.
I haven't got any kids of my own because I lost my wife to cancer but I'm now a father figure to my fiancée's two boys instead.
It's a very personal choice but if you're both happy as things are then there's not a problem so get on and enjoy life :D
 
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psychoscot

Crazy Ninja 88
Premium Supporter
Oct 13, 2013
7,695
Solihull UK
Enjoy your holiday in Italy dude, if anyone has a problem with that then that's THEIR problem, not yours! They chose children and their lives have to work around that, you most certainly don't. :thumbs: If they truly cannot understand why you choose to live as you please and not work around their life and kids then they either are odd, or not happy that they no longer can do what you do "most likely the second option"

the kid is 2 they will not even notice you are gone. When you come back have an afternoon birthday tea for the kid and give them the prezzies.:cool:
 
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