Man... I swear to god... some people just need to get some of these rules straight.
So I'm chillin' at work when I get the early morning grumbles.. typically I don't like takin' a crap at work just because I know some of the people that could be planting their ass on the seats and I don't really trust those porous paper thingies they have on the wall, but today was different. I couldn't shake the grumbles and my lower intestine gave me the 2 minute warning. I bolted for the bathroom to be welcomed with an empty bathroom, I hit up the next to farthest stall, put like 20 paper things down and get crackin. Not 30 seconds in someone enters the bathroom. "No big deal, they're takin' a piss and heading out," I'm thinking. I do the audible alarm to be sure by a cough, sniff, and foot shuffle. This is the bathroom code for, "I'm in the stalls taking a dump, stay away!" Well, unfortunately this douchebag didn't quite get the message and takes the stall farthest in the corner of the bathroom, right next to mine.
What in THE HELL motivates someone to sit right next to another person to take a dump when there are 7, SEVEN, 1-2-3-4-5-6-7 OTHER stalls that aren't next to mine? Disgusted I check their shoes under the wall, Nike's - it's not my boss, or the site leader... I wait for the uncomfortable silence to set in and let loose my bowels. It was awful. The cream cheese, green onion, and dried beef cheeseball had worked a miracle in the aromas of my intestines. I hurridly start wafting my hands to push it under the stall wall toward my rude neighbor. Nothing, he says nothing. I shat again, wafted, and finally heard him let go of his breath! HA! Victory was mine, he just inhaled a large dose of Alpha-fart... I finish up and bolt before he can drop his first bomb. What an a-hole that guy was.
Anyways... just in case any of you guys are like that guy let us review:
1.) Whenever possible, no matter how many stalls are available, let a man crap alone, in peace. Come back later when it's empty - then it's your turn, and you should expect the same courtesy in return.
2.) If you can't hold it, pick the farthest stall from the other person - Talking to yourself is fine, but don't try to engage anyone else. Really, just don't.
3.) Urinals follow a silent rule, too, you never pick the urinal next to someone. You always pick the urinal at least one space away. If none are available, come back later, period. Never be ashamed to do a bathroom drive-by. Take a moment to wash your hands while you're there, they probably need it anyways.
If you need a fun and interactive quiz please google The Urinal Game to hone in those important bathroom etiquette rules.
So I'm chillin' at work when I get the early morning grumbles.. typically I don't like takin' a crap at work just because I know some of the people that could be planting their ass on the seats and I don't really trust those porous paper thingies they have on the wall, but today was different. I couldn't shake the grumbles and my lower intestine gave me the 2 minute warning. I bolted for the bathroom to be welcomed with an empty bathroom, I hit up the next to farthest stall, put like 20 paper things down and get crackin. Not 30 seconds in someone enters the bathroom. "No big deal, they're takin' a piss and heading out," I'm thinking. I do the audible alarm to be sure by a cough, sniff, and foot shuffle. This is the bathroom code for, "I'm in the stalls taking a dump, stay away!" Well, unfortunately this douchebag didn't quite get the message and takes the stall farthest in the corner of the bathroom, right next to mine.
What in THE HELL motivates someone to sit right next to another person to take a dump when there are 7, SEVEN, 1-2-3-4-5-6-7 OTHER stalls that aren't next to mine? Disgusted I check their shoes under the wall, Nike's - it's not my boss, or the site leader... I wait for the uncomfortable silence to set in and let loose my bowels. It was awful. The cream cheese, green onion, and dried beef cheeseball had worked a miracle in the aromas of my intestines. I hurridly start wafting my hands to push it under the stall wall toward my rude neighbor. Nothing, he says nothing. I shat again, wafted, and finally heard him let go of his breath! HA! Victory was mine, he just inhaled a large dose of Alpha-fart... I finish up and bolt before he can drop his first bomb. What an a-hole that guy was.
Anyways... just in case any of you guys are like that guy let us review:
1.) Whenever possible, no matter how many stalls are available, let a man crap alone, in peace. Come back later when it's empty - then it's your turn, and you should expect the same courtesy in return.
2.) If you can't hold it, pick the farthest stall from the other person - Talking to yourself is fine, but don't try to engage anyone else. Really, just don't.
3.) Urinals follow a silent rule, too, you never pick the urinal next to someone. You always pick the urinal at least one space away. If none are available, come back later, period. Never be ashamed to do a bathroom drive-by. Take a moment to wash your hands while you're there, they probably need it anyways.
If you need a fun and interactive quiz please google The Urinal Game to hone in those important bathroom etiquette rules.
