The rant/blurb thread

[halon]

Exactlly what it says. Feel free to blow off some steam or just to comment about something other than tech (no politics).

Just watch the language....Alpha LOL

 

[Illiciter]

Happy friday everyone! People r duhm!


Termite walks into a bar and asks, "where is your bar tender?"

Grasshopper walks into a bar and says, "Gimme a beer with lots of hops."

Blonde walks into a library and says, "I'll have a hamburger, fries, and a coke." The librarian says, "Ma'am, this is a LIBRARY!" to which the blonde replies, "Oh sorry" then whispers, "I'll have a hamburger, fries, and a coke."

Drunk guy gets pulled over by a policewoman and gets busted for a DUI, the policewoman asks him to get out of the car and begins reading him his rights, "anything you say can and will be held against you" to which he interrupts, "BREASTS."


3 men are walking on a beach, Uncle Sam, Osama Bin Laden, and a Canadian Farmer.. they come across a lamp and a genie pops out and says, "Since there are 3 of you I will grant each of you 1 wish." After thinking for a bit the Canadian says, "I wish for all of Canada's lands to be fertile and rich so that my family will flourish and never go hungry!" Poof! Wish granted.

Osama Bin Laden finally seems to be ready and says, "I wish for an impenetrable wall to be around afghanistan so no infidels can come in and out of our country!" Poof! Wish granted.

Uncle Sam thinks for a moment and asks, "Genie, what can you tell me about this wall?" The Genie replies, "Well it's 20 miles high, 8,000 feet thick and there's no way anything is getting in or out of that country."

"Fill it with water."

 

[Glen-BoB]

Happy friday everyone! People r duhm!


Termite walks into a bar and asks, "where is your bar tender?"

Grasshopper walks into a bar and says, "Gimme a beer with lots of hops."

Blonde walks into a library and says, "I'll have a hamburger, fries, and a coke." The librarian says, "Ma'am, this is a LIBRARY!" to which the blonde replies, "Oh sorry" then whispers, "I'll have a hamburger, fries, and a coke."

Drunk guy gets pulled over by a policewoman and gets busted for a DUI, the policewoman asks him to get out of the car and begins reading him his rights, "anything you say can and will be held against you" to which he interrupts, "BREASTS."


3 men are walking on a beach, Uncle Sam, Osama Bin Laden, and a Canadian Farmer.. they come across a lamp and a genie pops out and says, "Since there are 3 of you I will grant each of you 1 wish." After thinking for a bit the Canadian says, "I wish for all of Canada's lands to be fertile and rich so that my family will flourish and never go hungry!" Poof! Wish granted.

Osama Bin Laden finally seems to be ready and says, "I wish for an impenetrable wall to be around afghanistan so no infidels can come in and out of our country!" Poof! Wish granted.

Uncle Sam thinks for a moment and asks, "Genie, what can you tell me about this wall?" The Genie replies, "Well it's 20 miles high, 8,000 feet thick and there's no way anything is getting in or out of that country."

"Fill it with water."

haha, we have that same "uncle sam" joke here in canada but it's quebec that has a wall around it and the newfies "fill 'er wit wader"....classic.

 

[Illiciter]

haha, we have that same "uncle sam" joke here in canada but it's quebec that has a wall around it and the newfies "fill 'er wit wader"....classic.

A man walks into an emergency room with two black eyes and a broken nose. The doctor asks him what happened.

“Well,” says the man, “I was having a nice round of golf with my wife. She sliced her ball into a pasture of cows. We went to look for it, and while I was rooting around, I noticed that one of the cows had something protruding from its rear end. Sure enough, when it lifted its tail, there was my wife’s golf ball.”

“And?” asked the doctor.

“Well,” the man said, “that’s when I lifted the cow’s tail, pointed, and yelled to the missus, ‘Hey, honey — this one here looks like yours!’”

 

[Illiciter]

A Russian, a Frenchman, and a Canadian walk into a bar. The Russian asks the bartender for vodka, so he gives him an entire bottle. The Russian pours out a shot, drinks it, and throws the rest of the bottle into the air and shoots it. The bartender asks, “What did you do that for?” and the Russian replies, “In my country, we have too much vodka.”

The bartender shakes his head and turns to the Frenchman, who orders wine. The Frenchman pours a glass, drinks it, then throws the rest of the bottle in the air and shoots it to smithereens. “In my country,” he says, “we have too much wine.”

The bartender shakes his head again, and turns hesitantly to the Canadian to ask him what he would like.

The Canadian orders a beer, drinks the whole bottle in one go, then pulls out his gun and shoots the Frenchman. “In my country,” he says, “we have too many Frenchmen.”

 

[Glen-BoB]

A Russian, a Frenchman, and a Canadian walk into a bar. The Russian asks the bartender for vodka, so he gives him an entire bottle. The Russian pours out a shot, drinks it, and throws the rest of the bottle into the air and shoots it. The bartender asks, “What did you do that for?” and the Russian replies, “In my country, we have too much vodka.”

The bartender shakes his head and turns to the Frenchman, who orders wine. The Frenchman pours a glass, drinks it, then throws the rest of the bottle in the air and shoots it to smithereens. “In my country,” he says, “we have too much wine.”

The bartender shakes his head again, and turns hesitantly to the Canadian to ask him what he would like.

The Canadian orders a beer, drinks the whole bottle in one go, then pulls out his gun and shoots the Frenchman. “In my country,” he says, “we have too many Frenchmen.”

now your talkin, haha.

 

[stonkeye]

A Russian, a Frenchman, and a Canadian walk into a bar. The Russian asks the bartender for vodka, so he gives him an entire bottle. The Russian pours out a shot, drinks it, and throws the rest of the bottle into the air and shoots it. The bartender asks, “What did you do that for?” and the Russian replies, “In my country, we have too much vodka.”

The bartender shakes his head and turns to the Frenchman, who orders wine. The Frenchman pours a glass, drinks it, then throws the rest of the bottle in the air and shoots it to smithereens. “In my country,” he says, “we have too much wine.”

The bartender shakes his head again, and turns hesitantly to the Canadian to ask him what he would like.

The Canadian orders a beer, drinks the whole bottle in one go, then pulls out his gun and shoots the Frenchman. “In my country,” he says, “we have too many Frenchmen.”

pmls

 

[mobius387]

A Russian, a Frenchman, and a Canadian walk into a bar. The Russian asks the bartender for vodka, so he gives him an entire bottle. The Russian pours out a shot, drinks it, and throws the rest of the bottle into the air and shoots it. The bartender asks, “What did you do that for?” and the Russian replies, “In my country, we have too much vodka.”

The bartender shakes his head and turns to the Frenchman, who orders wine. The Frenchman pours a glass, drinks it, then throws the rest of the bottle in the air and shoots it to smithereens. “In my country,” he says, “we have too much wine.”

The bartender shakes his head again, and turns hesitantly to the Canadian to ask him what he would like.

The Canadian orders a beer, drinks the whole bottle in one go, then pulls out his gun and shoots the Frenchman. “In my country,” he says, “we have too many Frenchmen.”

im so telling this joke tonight

 

[DaMexiRican]

Watching The Sea Inside. Good Spanish film

 

[Illiciter]

ham and cheese ftw

 

[mobius387]

i saw a lady on a bike with a kid seat in the back with a kid in it and she also had two dogs attached to the bike with leashes.

mind you ITS THE FLIPPIN MIDDLE OF WINTER and theres ice all over the place.

 

[DaMexiRican]

Power went out today while I was taking a crap at work Luckily it was just for like 20 seconds.

 

[49ergirl]

Power went out today while I was taking a crap at work Luckily it was just for like 20 seconds.

AND I'm the lucky girl who got too hear about it TWICE on here AND bbm! :eek::eek:

 

[jefXfree]

DUDE WTF is up with the rain in SOCAL? Are you kidding me? We don't get rain!

 

[49ergirl]

DUDE WTF is up with the rain in SOCAL? Are you kidding me? We don't get rain!

Yeah I'm a little irritated heading to Palm Springs for a long weekend tomorrow and was hoping to escape from the cold ass weather here in the northern Nevada desert!

 

[the_ps_hero]

Rant!...


why do poor country's Breed if their only made to suffer in this world?,then look at America and other country's for responsible need's like every body in the world is responsible Because they are unreliable & haven't even gave the TRY to be responsible in the first place...

 

[Horhay]

Yeah I'm a little irritated heading to Palm Springs for a long weekend tomorrow and was hoping to escape from the cold ass weather here in the northern Nevada desert!

We are hearing on the news that another big storm is heading our way, you might just spend your weekend inside

 

[DaMexiRican]

AND I'm the lucky girl who got too hear about it TWICE on here AND bbm! :eek::eek:

I could spend hours in there if I had a toilet like this

 

[Jon D]

Yeah I'm a little irritated heading to Palm Springs for a long weekend tomorrow and was hoping to escape from the cold ass weather here in the northern Nevada desert!

I'm like 45 minutes from Palm Springs... this weather seriously sucks, my body is killing me because its so cold.

My dog seems to like it though, lol! when I let him out, he runs around outside and I have to be ready with a towel so he doesn't wet everything in my house.

And I'm still pissed because I can't make up my mind on a damn graphics card.

 

[Illiciter]

Head hurts, gotta drop deuce but I'm stuck at work and the bathrooms are totally destroyed... like some sort of sh*t terrorist committed martyrdom in the bathroom.. it even *smells* like sh*t death.


Why must you taste so good repeatedly for long hours at a time mr. beer?!


POR QUEEEEEEE!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!


EDIT:

I also got the thumbs up from the wife to buy more homebrew stuff... There is light through this hungover tunnel.

 

[DaMexiRican]

Lmao! It got so bad at work I went out at bought my own personal can of air freshener for such emergencies